Grocery shopping is exhausting. For everyone, I think. I’ve never met a person that says, ” Gee, I can’t wait to go to the grocery store today…” Well. I’m sure they exist. But I don’t know them.
When I go grocery shopping it never fails. Someone always looks at me with Noah and Peyton in tow and says, “You’re so brave! I’d never bring both of my kids shopping!” Well, if I didn’t then we would starve…and the couple of hours a day my husband IS home I don’t want to leave the heathens with him to go grocery shopping. So once a month I load the kiddos up and head to Winston-Salem Trader Joes (uh, love this place!) for our organic groceries, then drive back to Mocksville and finish up at Walmart (I know, I know…but we’re on a budget here). Trader Joes is usually the cake walk of my grocery trip. Noah spends his time looking for the lion (The store hides a lion somewhere in the aisles, and if you find it you get a prize) and it takes us a whole 20 minutes to get what we need and get out. Walmart, on the other hand, is another story. In addition to the big monthly trip there, I usually have to stop to get something at least once a week. Mostly because I’m forgetful or don’t want to eat what I had planned But seriously, I hate Walmart.
In order to fit food into our cart I have to carry a kid. So, Noah goes in the seat of the cart and I strap Peyton on using our Boba carrier (lifesaver). He usually just falls asleep in there…glorious. That’s alright though, because Noah’s crazy makes up for the sleeping infant 10 fold.
See, I’m the rookie mom that made the mistake of letting Noah open and eat one of those little travel cups of Chips Ahoy on a exceptionally long, tantrum driven shopping trip once. Ever since that shopping trip he spends the entire time looking for the giant middle of the aisle bin of cookie cups. I did a great job of avoiding it for a few weeks, until Walmart threw me a curveball and moved it to the middle of the meat aisle. Well played.
He also thoroughly enjoys covering his ears and screaming through the entire store. Yep, we’re that family. You’ll be okay. (We’re learning now that this is related to a possible sensory processing disorder..but that’s a story for another day).
In addition to those little pearls of awesomeness, Noah also has a knack for reaching every shelf I happen to stop at to knock cans or boxes on the ground. It’s incredibly hard to bend over and pick this stuff up with an infant strapped to my chest (and heaven forbid I wake him up and add to the circus that is our Walmart trip), so sometimes I just act like I didn’t see it. Yep, we’re that family too.
Once we finally make it through getting all of the stuff we need, I prepare my heart for the grand finale. That is, the checkout aisle. Not just any checkout aisle though. No. Walmart’s incredibly ignorantly planned checkout aisles are the PERFECT width for a little person to reach both sides of the aisle at the same time. Read: Left hand Butterfinger, right hand Better Homes and Garden Magazine. Throw on floor. Repeat. While I pay, Noah continuously screams “BUTTON, BUTTON, BUTTON, BUTTON” because he wants to push all of the buttons on the credit card machine. Sometimes I let him. We’re that family too. (I still don’t know if it messes anything up for the cashier, but they’ve never told me if it has!).
Usually by now Peyton has woken up and is arching his back and trying to escape from the Boba.
I smartly park beside the cart corral so that I can put Peyton in first, unload the groceries into the trunk, put Noah in, then not have to leave them to put the cart away. The 2 second walk to the cart corral is blissful peace. Then I get into the car.
Noah’s word for hungry is “ACKNEY!!” which he continuously screams the whole way home, with visions of recently bought cookies dancing in his head. That’s a long 15 minute drive.
Get home. Bring carseat in first, because if I bring Noah in first he just runs back outside. Go back out, get Noah. Strap Noah down to something (like a HIGHCHAIR, people), make 5 trips to car to get groceries. Put groceries away while Peyton has meltdown and Noah screams “ACKNEY!”
Change diapers, feed children.
Husband comes home and says, “I can’t find anything to eat.”
I couldn’t make this stuff up people.
So yes, nice lady in the grocery store, I am brave. Grocery shopping with 2 kids is super not fun. But we survive